Regular visitors to The Accelerated Chaote will likely have worked out by now just how much effort I put into the whole occult thing. Reading about and discussing the unseen world has grown to become one of the most important facets of who I am now, taking up much of my time as the clock ticks through middle age. I want to know, to dare, to hold demonesses by the hand and gods by the throat, stare down those engaged in blind ritualistic devotions to dead deities by sheer will alone and unleash my army of loyal egregores like a plague upon the land. Ego magick perhaps, but I never claimed to be one of the good guys.

Of course, until such time as the laws of reality bend enough to allow for those grandiose and apocalyptic magickal excesses I guess leading my forces into battle in a far more compact and manageable way will have to do. I have been a fan of Games Workshop’s genre defining tabletop war game, Warhammer, for as long as I could hold a small plastic barbarian in my paint-stained paw. Khorne, Tzeench, Nurgle and Slaanesh, those sickly sweet words alone conjure up such images of conflict and conspiracy, entropy and debauchery as to make anyone familiar with their form and function smile darkly and reach for a fresh bag of dice.

However there is a far more esoteric reason for mentioning my thirty year love affair with little toy soldiers that you may at first think. And as with all good ideas, Cthulhu made me do it. Not directly you understand, I prefer Lilith myself, but if we accept the fact that occultists all over the internet are claiming to have achieved results while working with what must be considered a fictional entity, then surely it is not too far fetched to assume that we can expect the same courtesy from other literary gods. Especially those who, like old squid face himself, have been the focal point of many a fevered fanboy’s mental energy over decades.

With that in mind I am going to give the non-players among you a brief run down of what magickal aspects each of the Warhammer Chaos Gods represent, and what you might be able to get out of them with a role of the dice. I have also included a fifth entity, one whose deification is disputed among fans due to some behind the scenes copyright shenanigans, but who I have always considered on a par with his more cannon friendly brethren. Have a care though. While the grim darkness of the far future has no Devil, the brothers described here are far deadlier than your usual goetic demon, and more than twice as evil.

Historically, Khorne has always been the first god in any list such as this, as he is considered by many as the most powerful of the four siblings. However, based on recent editions of the game it is not unreasonable to call Grandfather Nurgle the modern face of the so called Ruinous Powers and for that reason we will start with him. As originator of every plague known to man, the pestilent and bloated lord of disease and decay wiles away his time experimenting in a vast cauldron large enough to swallow all the oceans of the world. Here he perfects ever more virulent strains of toxins to gift upon friend and foe alike.

For Nurgle, as tied to entropy as he is, also represents the indiscriminate nature of creation, and the passion that drives scientists to envision terrible weapons with no heed for the consequences of their actions. Those mortals who draw his gaze are gifted with the ability to ignore the pain and suffering reserved for lesser men, mastering their diseases and deformities until both become welcome aspects of their being. While not strictly tied to necromancy his followers tend to have a predisposition for rotten, maggot ridden things, so to follow Nurgle is to accept the ugliness of the world and to take it into yourself. Green is his colour, and a trio of plague buboes is his mark. Know him to know the inevitable fate of all that lives.

Next we return to Khorne, the war hound of chaos. As the deity of both martial prowess and pure, unbridled rage, Khorne seethes with anger upon a great brass throne atop a mountain of skulls. Each of these is a token cleaved from the neck of the unworthy by one of his many fanatically loyal followers. Here he watches the mortal realm, seeking those who deserve to be granted his stubborn and belligerent favour, gifting them with both his never ending thirst for slaughter and cruelly conceived weapons forged from the very stuff of chaos itself.

Indeed, it is the constant ringing of the hammers held by his loyal Furnace Demons that could be considered to encapsulate the heartbeat of his particular realm, coupled with the grinding crunch of splintered bone underfoot. While not strictly a deity that will have anything to do with Magick, as he perceives it to be cowardly, his followers display the stalwart nature that comes from having confidence in their own abilities. To seek the patronage of Khorne is to understand the energising power of such cleansing anger and embrace it selfishly. Red is his colour and a stylised bronze skull is his mark. Know him to know true defiance in the face of adversity.

From dogs to birds, or at least bipedal vulture things and their supreme lord, the ever scheming master of the occult arts known as Tzeentch. With power rivalling that of Khorne, though far more subtly applied, this deity can boast just as many followers as any of his brothers. As befitting those who would work under the patronage of a god intimately tied to the concept of dishonesty and subterfuge however, few would admit to doing so openly unless sufficiently confident in their magickal prowess to stand up and be counted.

For while Tzeentch is willing to call on his champions to openly fight to further his myriad personal agendas, he much prefers to view the mortal realm as one vast chessboard. In his dreamless eyes all those who have ever, and will ever incarnate in flesh and bone are little better than pieces to be placed wherever he sees fit. While not strictly a deity of divination, many seek his patronage to gain some of his limitless foresight and magickal skill. To conspire with Tzeentch is to lose yourself in the machinations and mysteries of the mind and emerge from it forever changed. Blue is his colour and a great all seeing eye set upon an azure swirl his mark. Know him to know the subtle difference between truth and lie.

Finally among the classic four chaos gods we turn to the youngest of the brothers, the beguiling and androgynous prince of Chaos, Slaanesh, master and mistress over every seduction, every vice known to both man and demon alike. This most intriguing of gods dwells in a great, opulent palace safely surrounded by an entire realm divided into six concentric circles, each representing a different sin. Here they wile away their time by courting the affections of those mortals deemed worthy of such fleeting fascination. Beauty, charm and wit are their motivations, yet a darker side becomes apparent once these temptations have done their work.

For the difference between pain and pleasure mean very little to Slaanesh, and they are equally attracted to both worship and weakness, ecstasy and agony, whatever it takes to reach the very heights of excess. While not strictly a deity of sex magick, Slaanesh’s followers tend to revel in beauty, ecstasy and carnal pleasures, so to lay with Slaanesh is to embrace your innermost desires and become intimate with the darker side of your soul. Pinks and purples are their colours, and a twisted variation on the male and female gender symbols their mark. Know them to truly know yourself.

And now we come to Malal, my deity of choice in the grim darkness of the far future. While the other descriptions in this essay have been in universe, it is impossible to discuss The Outcast God without touching upon his history outside of the game. Once hinted at as a fifth brother to those previously outlined, he was rendered non-cannon due to both an ownership dispute and tightening of the lore behind the scenes. And due to this injustice one of the most interesting beings in Warhammer was consigned to the recycle bin of of history. Yet like the adversarial spirit he is, the Hierarch of Anarchy and Terror refused to stay dead, being reborn as a much less powerful spirit known as Malice within the bounds of Warhammer 40,000.

While neither he nor his followers could ever be considered heroic, Malal is the very essence of anarchy and embodies the tendency for chaos to consume itself before burning out. As such his is the defiant rebellion against his own kind, an endless cycle of stalking and killing their followers while also consuming his own for the chaotic taint they carry as well. Treated badly by Games Workshop over the years his presence actually makes sense as a much needed counterpoint that gives context to the other Ruinous Powers and rounds out their pantheon. To stand with Malal is to recognise the antihero willing to do whatever it takes to make the nightmares go away. Black and white are his colours and a bisected skull his mark. Know him to embrace the swirling anarchy at the core of all things.